Topic: Reviving the old blog...
As we r embarking on e 40 days fast, some rumors claimed tt i've fasted fr my blog since it wasnt updated. Well, i'll say it's just my Laziness.
Let me make a disclaimer 1st: I pray tt none who read this blog will be affected, but we be recharged at the last paragraph..
Frankly, i was feeling relative DRY( like my sun-burnt arms n back!), b4 typing these words. It was like e worst holiday tt happened to me. Knowing i was RETAINED was an Enormous blow to me. I guess nobody has ever wondered how terrible i was affected, not even my shepherd-Jon. Everyone jus think tt i'll somehow Move ON. Sadly, e truth is tt my heart was darkened as each miserable day passed. hiyo, I really don know how to express the sorrow in me. It's as if i was diowned by God or like e Armagaden has occurred on me!
I cant REPEAT!!!!!!!
1stly, been born in a sole breadwiner household, i cant afford to 'waste' another year. Mum was retrenched n Dad's license will expire soon, like in half a decade time.
Next: It's actually a personal PRIDE issue, how can i face e 3rd tier leadership, i.e. Shawn n Aquila. I'm a completely Bad example!...Let alone facing my relatives n friends?....
3rd, 2 more years record of being late for sch; pressed for tutorials; reprimanded by many, is not an attractive nor an endurable task!
4th Odds of many kinds: like expanses n stuff.
Nov/Dec 2005 is a lousy year not only bcos of receiving bad news, but also another year to showcase my UNFRUITFULNESS..
When taking e Baton fr Jon, instd of moving fr glory to glory, YJCians just left God 1 by 1. To make matter worst, e JC grp has sort of deterioate under me, e efficiency n unity has went down a great deal.
God, when can i be successful?
It's also this year tt i started to Doubt whether am i e chosen 1? Bcos, i think i've make more enemies n had yet to impact any souls..
Somehow, How i wish some God-sent ppl may counsel me, comfort me or even rebuke all my wrongdoings...
Anyway, when i was so saddened by so many 'evils' or e world, i chose to look to God.haha, some may argue tt's wat i always do when im spiritually down, well, maybe tt's my strength..Alright, i started to read the book of Esther. (not bcos inspired by e MAID on Poh Kim's shop)
Initailly, i wanted to finished 1 chapter n go online to vent my frustuations, however, i cant helped it but to kept reading until i finised e Book! What a CAPTIVATING book!
What i learnt.
1 God always in control, even in bad times.
2 One maybe punished for Pride n Self-exalting plans.
3 God is always there, (providing all sorts of way to protect his ppl)
4 God works in WEIRD ways-choosing a woman in those time to spread his NAME.
5 an interesting pt: Many turned Jews( Esther 9:17)
Hence, I'm uplifted by the Word Of God.
Indeed, I'm hand-picked by God for His works. If i do my best, God will do e Rest. Retain could be within His Ultimate plan.
Now is alr 22Dec, it's time to break fast. I can hv access to Beef!
Anyway, i ve grown much during this period, seeing minute breakthru's.
50J1!!!
Responed on 22Dec. :>
